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Ashley Edwards


Ashley is very nice, smart and pretty, but she definitely has some quirks. For instance, she no longer wears closed-toe shoes because she says her toes were choking from “lack of oxygen” and that this in turn caused a chemical imbalance that resulted in random hiccups. I think I believe her because, until recently, she would periodically let out very loud, bark-like sounds that resonated throughout the office. They resembled hiccups, but smelled like socks. Now that the closed-toe shoes are gone, we’re all better off.

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