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Branding Help: Big Black Glasses and Aliens

Eric Groves

By Eric Groves

I was waxing nostalgic the other day, looking at some old college pictures and I couldn’t help but laugh at what I saw. Staring back at me, some decades later, was an embarrassing picture of me with a mustache, feathered hair and a pair of sweet brown corduroy pants. Next to me was my roommate Ted, rocking a full-blown mullet, decked out in pants straight from an MC Hammer concert and a skin-tight, green shirt that was at least two sizes too small.

Ted was never a fashion plate, but this was a particularly bad day — even for him. He needed some branding help. 

Looking for branding help? Think of aliens?!?!?!

As I looked at the picture, I was pondering how and why these horrific fashion trends ever take hold in the first place. The only logical conclusion I could come to is that somewhere on high (Mars, I believe), there are aliens who are placing bets on the level of fashion goofiness that they can convince the average earthling to engage in.

First, they whisk away key people of influence from our culture onto their spaceships (particularly if they happen to live in, or are visiting rural Arkansas), and inject them with a serum that causes no memory of the event. Next, they whisper crazy fashion ideas into their minds, which, after they are released, they are compelled to follow. Then, like social lemmings, the masses follow these cultural icon’s leads straight off the cliffs of doom into the fiery lake of goofy outfits and crazy hairdos. 

How else can you explain all the big black glasses that have been so popular lately?

They make everyone’s noses look like they’ve been injected with novocaine and grown to twice their normal size. Seriously! Does anyone look good in these things?

Aliens—maybe. The average earthling—no!

I remember when the only place you’d find something looking remotely like these honkers was in a costume store. I’m not Nostradamus, but you can quote me on this — I predict that these nasty nose monstrosities will fall into the category of Hammer Pants in the not-to-distant future and aliens will once again have the last laugh. 

So, what does this have to do with branding? Everything!

Here are some branding insights that can be gained from these unfortunate cultural phenomenons:

Photo courtesy beckie



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